EDIT* Sorry about the text color, folks! I was just re-reading and found it fairly difficult to read everything clearly. I was 1 notch darker on the green than usual.. I made corrections. Apologies.
*Disclaimer: Due to laziness and this post being arbitrarily too long, if I have made any spelling or grammatical errors, I apologize ahead of time.*
So, I missed last Wednesday and I honestly can't tell you why. I totally forgot and didn't even think about it until Thursday afternoon, sitting at work. I worked a couple hours, ran errands, went shopping, messed around online, then chilled with some beer last Wednesday. It never occurred to me to jump on here, whoopsie!
ANYWHO...
So, I finally get out of that first house by finding another house on Craigslist. "GOOD IDEA, DUMBASS!" I'm sure most of you are thinking, if not muttering at this point. Yeah yeah, I needed a place and I needed it quickly. It truly is the easiest place to find some quick housing if you're in a bind. And, believe me when I say, I had the motivation to change my living conditions.
So, I'm looking and looking for a week with no real hits when I see "$375 bedroom for rent ASAP!" I'm like "$375? Absolutely. Let's see where you are and what kind of place it is". I click into the ad and it's your basic rundown of the house. "1 bedroom to rent for $375/month + utilities. Washer/Dryer in the house. Please no obnoxious frat boys. Dirty people need not apply..." etc. Then I get further into it and it reads " 5 bedroom house looking for chill roommate to fill an upstairs bedroom. We are 2nd shift folks and would prefer the same" WAIT. WHAT. 5 bedroom house!? Holy crap!
I end up emailing the ad and I get a response via text on my phone since I included my phone #. The guy wants to meet up someplace downtown to "interview" me per se. So, we agree to meet up at this bar around 11:30pm. I leave work at 11:00pm and find the bar. It's a random Tuesday night and the bar is pretty empty. I grab a stool and order a drink. I keep checking my phone as would any normal person, awkwardly waiting on a stranger, would do. Finally, a guy walks up and just blatantly asks "you Larry?" "heh, yes sir!" He introduces himself and he grabs a drink. We start chit-chatting and he's touching a little on his history. Used to live in New Orleans. Was enlisted in the Navy during Hurricane Katrina. Lived in Hawaii for 4 years. This guy was pretty cool. His only job in Austin was to find talent and bands for the bar we were visiting that night, little did I know. Needless to say, he knew a lot of people.
After about half an hour of B.S. he starts talking about the room available, the house rules, the other roommates that already occupy the house, and so forth. A girl walks up and hugs on him a second and sits down. She introduces herself as his girlfriend. He explains that the house has 1 downstairs bedroom and 4 upstairs bedrooms. He and his girlfriend have the downstairs room since it's the Master Bedroom. (Lovely, another couple in the same house. This can't go wrong again, right?) She seems pretty cool and mildly drunk. They ask if I want to party and get stupid with them that night to which I politely decline. I had no driver and no way to get back home. I have 1 more drink and I head out around 12:30am. The guy schedules a time to go look at the house and check it out the following Wednesday.
I show up at the house that next Wednesday. Ok, so, I started calling this place the "Mini-Mansion" rightly so. It was a 5 bedroom, 4 full bathroom, 4k sqft house. This baby was awesome! It was pretty huge on the outside and enormous on the inside. Dark brown brick covered the entire house with a two car garage. The entry way was adorned with exaggerated high brick arches. The thing looked epic. Check it out: Mini-Mansion
The girlfriend answers the door and she starts showing me around. Apparently, the guy was off somewhere else. 2 of the roommates were in the kitchen hanging out, we did our introductions and we proceeded upstairs to my room. Seriously, this room was the size of 2 of the rooms I had in the first house. And, they only wanted #375/month!!!!
1 roommate was a drummer in a band and was out of the house 4 of the 7 days a week. He didn't have a job and apparently didn't have too since he was making money as a drummer, I suppose. Another roommate was a kid (I use that term loosely. He was 4yrs younger than me) who had just moved down from Rochester, NY and was trying to make it in Austin just like I was doing 3 months prior. Least he started in an awesome house....
The last roommate was probably the most interesting. It wasn't so much his personality as it was his "situation" as we'll call it.
He was from Portland, OR. Moved to Austin a year before. Worked at the bar that the first guy worked at where I met him. He then left the bar and started on an oil rig in Wyoming. Already interesting. This guy would work 10 days on 10 days off. He was required to find his own way to work which means he was paying for his own flights to and from Wyoming every 10 days. He said that the job wasn't THAT difficult, unless something messed up. It paid 96k/yr. He was a single guy with no debt. This guy was loaded and I mean LOADED! Things he purchased the short 5 months I lived there:
-PS3 with 10 games = $800
-67" 3D LED LCD TV = $1.2k
-Year 2000 Car for him to have in Wyoming to drive around when he was there = $3k
-2007 Yukon Denali = $22k
-Brand new Rims and Tires for said Denali = $7k
-Brand new stereo system for Denali = $2k
-Brand new bed = ???
-Round Trip airfare every 10 days to Wyoming = ~$350/trip
And I last heard when I was moving out that he was thinking about buying the Motorcycle the Lease Holder on the house had for sale for $3k.
He stated his biggest woe was that he never had time to spend his money or play with the toys he had already spent his money on. 10 days off in a row after working 10 days seems like a vacation every 10 days, right? If you take off 10 days from work in a row, wouldn't you call that "vacation time"? Wanna know WHY he never had time to "play with his toys"??? I'll tell you. After the 10 days of work, he and his co-workers would then fly to places such as: VEGAS and NEW YORK and SAN DIEGO and FLORIDA for 8 of the 10 days he had off! Just. Because. He. Could. He was a really awesome dude, and we had a lot of fun when we were drinking at the house. It was just so weird being in such drastically different financial brackets.
Man.. this is freaking long and I haven't even moved in, yet.. Sheesh!
To be honest, it was quite uneventful. I mean of course you have the excitement euphoria of being in a new place that you actually WANT to be in. After that subsided, it was back to routine. Unfortunately, this couple was like the last in terms of rocky relationship issues. If you went downstairs to grab something from the ginormous kitchen, you could hear them yelling and fighting in the bedroom. Luckily, they kept the fighting in their room and not into the rest of the house.
I hung out with these roommates occasionally. They invited me downtown and we went bar hopping through Austin and up in Pflugerville (which as a total of 3 bars if I'm not mistaken. It's like going to Woodburn to bar hop. It ain't happening)So, I mean we had some great times. Now, what happened next, I never saw coming. Once I discovered pieces of the puzzle, the entire image came into focus and I stayed away.
Here's what happened. It was my day off of work and I had just gotten up and gotten around, so lets say around 2:00pm. (suck it, I'm lazy). I am set on heading to the store and then grab food, then head back home to chill. I start down the stairs when I hear ridiculous laughing. It's the girlfriend laughing in the kitchen. I walk into the kitchen and see her tipping back a bottle of wine. Next to her is the Drummer Roommate, holding a beer. They are both giggling and a touch of flushed face, going on. I ask them what's up and they laugh and state that "It's our day off! Getting our Day Drink, on!" Hmmm.. Ok, then. Now, I'm not one to judge alcohol habits or routine. But, if I'm getting my day drink on it's because I have said "Screw this day. I'm not doing anything else". It was only 2pm, and I found it hard to believe they had nothing else going on or wanted to do that day, but whatever.
Ok, obviously that looks suspicious. Minor lingering curiousness and questions pop up, but are shrugged off almost instantly. So, that was clue #1. I grab a granola bar from the cabinet and head towards the front door. "Hey.. uh hey, man. Are you going to work?" Says the drummer. "Umm.. Nope. I have Wednesday off, man." I reply. "Oh. like.. the whole day?" he says. "Uh.. haha.. what? Yeah. It's my day off. I'm gonna go to Wal-Mart and then grab food and chill upstairs." "Ah. Ok." Well, that was weird. But then again, he was drunk. I leave and I joke to myself "why do you wanna know if I work today? Are you trying to get the girlfriend?"
I get my shopping done and grab some food and head home. I open the front door and close it. I have sudden sense that something is happening. I don't know why, but I can feel it. I slowly and quietly walk to the kitchen. I turn the corner and see the girlfriend sitting on the counter top, her legs wrapped around the drummer who is standing next to the counter. They are embraced in a full on drunken kiss. "shit! I knew it!" I exclaim to myself. I now had 2 choices. Try to sneak upstairs or interrupt them. I walk back to the front door and carefully open it a crack. Then, I slowly pull the deadlock into it's locked position. I wait a second. I slam the deadlock so it's upright and unlocked. I try to simulate myself unlocking it from the outside as it would make a similar noise. I then wait half a second and slam the door shut as if I had entered the house and closed the door behind me. I hear slight rustling from the kitchen and carry by grocery bags inside. They are now both 5ft apart just standing still. Obvious awkwardness towards my abrupt interruption. "Hey, guys. Still drinking?" I say with a smile as I put my bags on the counter. "Um.. well.. YEAH" the girl stammers. "Nice nice, hope you guys keep drinking to prevent the hangover" I warmly advise. They both laugh nervously. I put my things away, grab my food bag and walk upstairs without another word.
I had no idea they had a thing for each other until that very day. Never saw it coming. I left it alone and never said anything since I didn't really know the lease holder all that well. I didn't know any of those guys that well. I figured I'd let it be and have them work out their own drama. The drummer or girlfriend never confronted me about it.
About 3 weeks later something very awful and terrible happened to my father, back home. Something I'd rather not share at this time. That's not the point, the point is that upon receiving the bad news, I bought a bottle of vodka, 3 Monsters and went to town. I had eaten a total of 1 Easy Mac Pack when I awoke that day. My Lunch and Dinner was Sky Vodka. After finishing the entire bottle around the Midnight hour I was beyond Annihilated. The lease holder came home and we talked for a bit..... I think...
Through his psychological trickery or my highly intoxicated, vodka soaked brain, this took place:
Lease Holder: LH
LH: "Hey man. You notice anything different about my girlfriend and the drummer?"
Me: "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.....? Noooooooooooo. Why, whash up?"
LH: "You drunk?"
Me: "Nope. I'm pretty..... blasted"
LH: "Well. I didn't know if you have seen anything suspicious between those two"
Me: "Well, I mean I don't know what you mean----"
LH: "Well I walked in the other day---"
Me: "YEAH! I SAW THEM, TOO!"
LH: "What."
Me: "You saw them, right?
LH: "Yeah man, I saw. I just wasn't sure if you saw anything, either"
Me: "Dude, I'm not a tattle tale and I hate stirring up drama. I was just gonna stay out of it. I don't know you guys that well and I feel bad. But, yeah, I walked in the other day and saw them kissing in the kitchen."
LH: "Really....?"
Me: "Oh my gosh.. you didn't know.. oh dammit. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I mean. I'm sorry man. I just had this horrible thing with my dad and.. I'm sorry.
LH: "No, no. I'm glad you said something. It's ok. I'll make sure he doesn't confront you or anything. I won't say you said anything"
Me: "Thank you"
I really truly felt terrible. I thought he had walked in on them doing something or seeing something as well. I misread what he was saying and totally through it all out there. I kind of planned on Armageddon to erupt the next day, inside the house. To my surprise, nothing. I heard yelling from the couple's bedroom like usual the next couple weeks, but nothing extreme. The lease holder seemed like he was a fairly intelligent person and seemed mature enough to handle a situation like this.
I did find out a few weeks later that the drummer found out I had said something. He gave me the cold shoulder and didn't speak to me that entire time. I figured it might be because of that, but wasn't sure since we didn't really talk a whole lot, anyway. He came into my room one night and apologized for his behavior and said that me telling the lease holder, everything actually helped the situation. We ended on cool grounds.
The lease at the Mini-Mansion was up in August. I lived there from March till August 1st. I put minimal effort in looking for a new place to live. About 2wks before the move out day was up, I started looking pretty hardcore. Nothing was going to trump a Mini-Mansion for #375/month. No one wanted to renew the lease. The guy working on the oil rig moved into a house 1 street over in the same addition. He found it on craigslist for $900/month. Not like he didn't have the money. The drummer moved in with his buddy. The NY kid found a place just north of downtown. And, the couple decided to move to Tampa, FL 2 weeks before the move. They stayed together and he found a place to go a week before.
Panic stricken and out of options, I submitted to moving in with a girl I had only been seeing for 2 months. I wasn't sure how it was going to work. I had only lived with 1 other female before and it ended horribly. Then again, she was... odd...
This girl actually borrowed her father's truck to help me move and we finished everything a couple days before August 1st. I payed the last remaining bills. Said my goodbyes and watched as the Mini-Mansion which I had came to adore, shrink in the distance.
I really did enjoy that house. It was a nice deck and a fenced in backyard. The rooms were huge and everyone was on a 2nd/3rd shift schedule in that house. I was the first one up everyday at 1pm!!! They were always up till 5/6am. It was pretty sweet and I'll miss it.
The move to the girls house wasn't that eventful. I had my own room and all my necessary items fit just fine. (Necessary i.e. my computer and tv).
If I remember next week I can cover the girls house and plans to move forward!
Hope you enjoyed the read. It really is all kinda lackluster to me putting it to text. It was quite interesting, tho.
Questions, comments, feedback, shoutouts, can all be delivered in the comment box, below. Can't believe so many people are reading these! Appreciate the traffic (Not that it fuels anything other than my ego and we all know that needs a bit of inflating)
Appreciate the views, I'll try to keep it up!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Found a house on Craigslist!
*Disclaimer: I did not proofread this due to laziness and the length of the post. If I have made spelling or grammatical errors, please look passed them, I apologize.
I was pitched the idea to add to my blog every Wednesday, since I have Wednesday's off. Not a bad idea at all.
Per my previous blog posts recounting the weeks before I actually left Indiana, I had mentioned that I had 3 major obstacles that I had not completed, yet. I needed to buy a new car to actually make the 1,250 mile journey down. I needed a job to sustain myself, of course. And finally, I needed a place to live. An intelligent individual would have perused Craigslist and Apartment Agent's for several weeks trying to find something within the budget, likeness, and safety of said individual. I, on the other hand, decided to find the place with the lowest price that was accepting of out-of-state visitor's as quickly as possible.
In all honesty, I actually found a place with these 2 guys that seemed laid back and cool, 2 weeks before I was leaving. The problem was, after our "phone interview" he stated that I "sounded like an awesome dude" and would "talk it over with the third guy" and call me back. *cricket, cricket* 6 days go by and I don't hear anything from these guys. "Great" I think to myself. "What the eff am I supposed to do? I leave in 7 days" So, I hastily jumped BACK on Craigslist and found someone posting a 3 bedroom house with 1 vacant room for $275/month. "Not bad at all" I say. The previous house was asking $500/month. I call up the number and speak to a female about the room available and she states she needs to speak with her boyfriend and get back to me. Well, she's calling me back 3hrs later. Perfect! They invite me to their house and we instantly have something in common as the boyfriend is from Iowa and we reminisce about the "Midwest". So, 7 days before I'm to depart on this epic of journey's, I finally find a place to actually live!
The guys with the first house actually ended up calling me back the day before I was to leave. The reason for the delay was that they had a close friend that needed a place to stay and they offered it to him after speaking to me. The guy declined 5 days later and then they fell back to me as the next candidate. I apologized and thank them but informed them that I found a place to stay.
Fast forward to my arrival in front of the Craigslist House.
I get out of my car and walk up to the door. The outside of the house is pale tan colored brick. The driveway is literally cracked in half horizontally, as if a mini earthquake were localized underneath. The concrete closest to the house was 6 inches higher than the concrete toward the end of the driveway. And old late 90's teal Toyota Camry the sole car parked up by the garage door. Later, I find that this car hasn't moved in at least a year due to some rather.... interesting circumstances. Bottom line, you don't park in the driveway, street parking only.
I knock on the door and the female I had been speaking with about the house opens up. She is much shorter than I, at 5'3 with short dark brown hair, almost black. She has black glasses with dark eyes. She was fairly petite, wearing skinny jeans and a sweater. Appearance wise, I am not attracted to her, which is good since I would be living with her and her boyfriend. I introduce myself and she invites me inside.
I walk inside and the first thing I notice are the dingy carpets. What used to be a light gray short cut carpet, was now dull and littered with dark black circles randomly throughout the entire living room. "Great, nasty carpet" I think. To the right is a piano with mail piled up on the bench and piano keys, area. Next to the piano is a chair. It's like a large pale yellow chair for 1 or 2 people depending on girth. Magazines, books, papers, dog toys cover this chair leaving little to no room to sit. To the left was the the TV area. There was an entertainment center with massive speaks place in it. This area was cluttered with a VCR, Nintendo Wii, a 27 inch tube TV, DVD Player, record player, more speakers that were not connected, and a couch. The couch I can only describe as a style of "Modern" I suppose. It was definitely hipster to say the least. Very awkwardly shaped, stiff, and uncomfortable. A coffee table in front of the couch held assorted items such as glasses, bowls, plates, and miscellaneous objects. A strange smell permeated throughout the house which I can only describe as, skunky.
The house was very small and with all the clutter, the area's seemed even more constricted. The living room lead to the kitchen and to a hallway which you could turn right to go down. I walked into the kitchen to meet this girl's boyfriend. He was in the kitchen cooking something. Turns out he's actually a decent cook. We get introductions out of the way and just chit chat for about 10 minutes. He is also wearing black glasses. His hair is very shaggy and black in color. He's pretty thin, himself. He's about my height, almost. I would say around 6'0. He's also rocking skinny jeans and a blue flannel shirt (odd). He seems pretty easy to talk too, but I can talk to anyone.
I'm finally shown my bedroom. The room is empty, save for a futon that I had arrange with the previous occupant of the room to leave for me for a fee. He also left a nightstand which was pretty awesome. The room I stayed in was pretty clean, actually. Only a few spots on the carpet and some random loose change laying sporadically. The carpet was the same type as in the living room, except it was light gray and quite fluffy. A predecessor of the living room's former self.
The room the couple stayed in was just to the left of my room. Their room, much like the rest of the house, was a cluttered mess. Random items all over the bed, floor, walls, dresser, everywhere. There was a computer desk right when you entered which is where the boyfriend stayed pretty much all the time, I later learn. This room was where the intense smell was emanating from.
The room to the left of them was the other occupant. I literally only spoke with him about 4 times over the next 2 weeks. He was gone or asleep almost all 14 days. We ended up talking and hanging out a few times. He was from Louisiana and would just fill me in on the culture, there.
The kitchen and the bathroom were probably the worst. The kitchen had pots and pans everywhere, dishes strewn all over the sink and counter tops.
The bathroom wasn't too bad until you stepped into the shower. Above the shower on the ceiling, nothing but black spots all over, which I learned was Black Mold. It actually ended up effecting me after a couple months which sucked. The bathroom was very small and had a plastic organizer about 3ft tall against the wall across from the toilet which took up lot of space.
Now, I could continue this way in great detail, only to find out 4hrs later that I have only described 1/8th of my entire experience in this place. I won't due that, because I don't want to sit here and continue on in such a mundane fashion. I'll try to touch on the major stuff and try to filter out the small stuff. Though it would make for "some" interesting reading, it's just not needed for the overall effect.
I lived there 3 months and the following transpired. I found out the smell I kept smelling was actually weed. Marijuana, if you want to be politically correct. I've been around weed before, I just didn't recognize the smell. Had a buddy who smoked which doesn't bother me. I don't smoke because it effects me negatively, it's gross, and I hate inhaling things. Doesn't bother me of people who do smoke, however. Well, Austin is pretty huge for it's leniency on pot. A ton of people do smoke down here and if you DON'T smoke, you're the odd one out. Quite different than it was back home. Ok, cool, so they smoke, whatever. It doesn't bother me and they were smoking in their room, not near me, all good.
Fast forward a month and the guy in the other bedroom starts chit chatting with me while the couple is out and about. He asks me "Don't you think it's weird that he has a bunch of strangers over frequently throughout the week?" I start to think about it and he was right. The boyfriend would constantly have visitors that would walk to his room, they would push the door half closed and talk. After 10 minutes, the stranger would leave. Rinse, repeat with about 10 people over the course of a week. "He's selling weed" the roommate states. "Holy shit... I never made the connection!" I say, startled. We're both drinking and basically agree that we each need to find a different place to live in case the house was busted and they tag everyone with known possession.
That was one of the first dramatic secrets I found out. Next, I find out why they don't leave the house too often. The female walks everywhere and the boyfriend only drives to the gas station for beer and to the bank about once a week. He was ALWAYS home! Found out that he was unemployed and had been on unemployment for upwards of a year and a half. He was not actively looking for work and was half-assing his college classes that he was attending. Basically, it all comes up and he states that he and his girlfriend have extreme social anxiety issues and weed is the only thing that calms them. He was literally hitting a bong every hour. I can't imagine the consistent levels of THC he held, daily. Then, at night, he would throw down a six pack with me. Insane! I then asking about the driving situation and how I had observed him not leaving the house too often. Found out that the female had several parking violations that she tried fighting and lost. Turns out she had a warrant for her arrest for other fee's dealing with her automobile. He, had expired Iowa tags, no valid driver's license, and he, too, had a warrant for his arrest for driving issues due to speeding tickets. I was floored! These guys were a piece of work.
I got along with both of them, decently. I just didn't have the greatest respect for them. I almost always ate out instead of trying to cook in the kitchen. Oh, I also killed 3 cockroaches in the kitchen, as well. The response I was given was "Oh, yeah, they're everywhere down here." In the past year since I left that house I have not ONCE seen another cockroach in ANY of the places I have lived.... interesting...
Most notable frustrations: The internet was turned off 4 times in those 3 months up to a few days at a time. The water was turned off due to non-payment, once. I ended up having to shower at work during those days. The couple fought all the time. Shouting matches in their room and in the kitchen, quite often. Made common actions like going to the bathroom, very awkward. We had 5 people sharing 1 bathroom which was annoying.
The lease ended in April of that year but I wanted to get the hell out of that house. I found a place, again on Craigslist, that was a few miles south of Austin. I made arrangements and moved out March 1st. Beyond all of the nuances that occurred, the folks were nice, just not my type of people. Very hipster-y with a lot of things not in common with each other. I was glad to get out of there. It was definitely an experience.
I'm sure I'm leaving something out, but I can't remember. We never had any issues with police, thank goodness. I ended up driving the female to work 4 days out of the week because she didn't want to walk. She said she would compensate me for gas. After 3 weeks I approached them and she acted all offended when I stated she said she would pay me SOMETHING for my time and gas to run her to work and pick her up consistently due to her legal issues. I think that's about it.
I was thankful I found that house, to be honest. Yeah it sucked, yeah it was terrible and cluttered and gross. It pissed off my brain's need for organized cleanliness. But, the fact that they were only charging me $275/month saved my butt. I received my first paycheck from Progressive the DAY I ran out of all of my money I brought with me. I withdrew the last $1.45 from my checking account to grab a Pepsi on the way to work and was paid the following morning. It was truly a blessing for it to work out like that. If I had gotten that call back from those guys with the first house, I would have run out of money and would probably not be here still, I fear.
I feel that it was a necessary sacrifice to live here in Austin. I feel as if I was charged an entrance fee to become a resident.
"If you can last in this terrible habitat, you can stay"
Well, you can suck it. I found a job. I withstood the horrors of sucky living conditions. And I have been happy ever since! Save for my job, of course.
Hope you guys enjoyed my very first 3 months in Austin! It was a crazy experience but I made it through! Hopefully I can dive into the house I moved into after this one, next week!
I was pitched the idea to add to my blog every Wednesday, since I have Wednesday's off. Not a bad idea at all.
Per my previous blog posts recounting the weeks before I actually left Indiana, I had mentioned that I had 3 major obstacles that I had not completed, yet. I needed to buy a new car to actually make the 1,250 mile journey down. I needed a job to sustain myself, of course. And finally, I needed a place to live. An intelligent individual would have perused Craigslist and Apartment Agent's for several weeks trying to find something within the budget, likeness, and safety of said individual. I, on the other hand, decided to find the place with the lowest price that was accepting of out-of-state visitor's as quickly as possible.
In all honesty, I actually found a place with these 2 guys that seemed laid back and cool, 2 weeks before I was leaving. The problem was, after our "phone interview" he stated that I "sounded like an awesome dude" and would "talk it over with the third guy" and call me back. *cricket, cricket* 6 days go by and I don't hear anything from these guys. "Great" I think to myself. "What the eff am I supposed to do? I leave in 7 days" So, I hastily jumped BACK on Craigslist and found someone posting a 3 bedroom house with 1 vacant room for $275/month. "Not bad at all" I say. The previous house was asking $500/month. I call up the number and speak to a female about the room available and she states she needs to speak with her boyfriend and get back to me. Well, she's calling me back 3hrs later. Perfect! They invite me to their house and we instantly have something in common as the boyfriend is from Iowa and we reminisce about the "Midwest". So, 7 days before I'm to depart on this epic of journey's, I finally find a place to actually live!
The guys with the first house actually ended up calling me back the day before I was to leave. The reason for the delay was that they had a close friend that needed a place to stay and they offered it to him after speaking to me. The guy declined 5 days later and then they fell back to me as the next candidate. I apologized and thank them but informed them that I found a place to stay.
Fast forward to my arrival in front of the Craigslist House.
I get out of my car and walk up to the door. The outside of the house is pale tan colored brick. The driveway is literally cracked in half horizontally, as if a mini earthquake were localized underneath. The concrete closest to the house was 6 inches higher than the concrete toward the end of the driveway. And old late 90's teal Toyota Camry the sole car parked up by the garage door. Later, I find that this car hasn't moved in at least a year due to some rather.... interesting circumstances. Bottom line, you don't park in the driveway, street parking only.
I knock on the door and the female I had been speaking with about the house opens up. She is much shorter than I, at 5'3 with short dark brown hair, almost black. She has black glasses with dark eyes. She was fairly petite, wearing skinny jeans and a sweater. Appearance wise, I am not attracted to her, which is good since I would be living with her and her boyfriend. I introduce myself and she invites me inside.
I walk inside and the first thing I notice are the dingy carpets. What used to be a light gray short cut carpet, was now dull and littered with dark black circles randomly throughout the entire living room. "Great, nasty carpet" I think. To the right is a piano with mail piled up on the bench and piano keys, area. Next to the piano is a chair. It's like a large pale yellow chair for 1 or 2 people depending on girth. Magazines, books, papers, dog toys cover this chair leaving little to no room to sit. To the left was the the TV area. There was an entertainment center with massive speaks place in it. This area was cluttered with a VCR, Nintendo Wii, a 27 inch tube TV, DVD Player, record player, more speakers that were not connected, and a couch. The couch I can only describe as a style of "Modern" I suppose. It was definitely hipster to say the least. Very awkwardly shaped, stiff, and uncomfortable. A coffee table in front of the couch held assorted items such as glasses, bowls, plates, and miscellaneous objects. A strange smell permeated throughout the house which I can only describe as, skunky.
The house was very small and with all the clutter, the area's seemed even more constricted. The living room lead to the kitchen and to a hallway which you could turn right to go down. I walked into the kitchen to meet this girl's boyfriend. He was in the kitchen cooking something. Turns out he's actually a decent cook. We get introductions out of the way and just chit chat for about 10 minutes. He is also wearing black glasses. His hair is very shaggy and black in color. He's pretty thin, himself. He's about my height, almost. I would say around 6'0. He's also rocking skinny jeans and a blue flannel shirt (odd). He seems pretty easy to talk too, but I can talk to anyone.
I'm finally shown my bedroom. The room is empty, save for a futon that I had arrange with the previous occupant of the room to leave for me for a fee. He also left a nightstand which was pretty awesome. The room I stayed in was pretty clean, actually. Only a few spots on the carpet and some random loose change laying sporadically. The carpet was the same type as in the living room, except it was light gray and quite fluffy. A predecessor of the living room's former self.
The room the couple stayed in was just to the left of my room. Their room, much like the rest of the house, was a cluttered mess. Random items all over the bed, floor, walls, dresser, everywhere. There was a computer desk right when you entered which is where the boyfriend stayed pretty much all the time, I later learn. This room was where the intense smell was emanating from.
The room to the left of them was the other occupant. I literally only spoke with him about 4 times over the next 2 weeks. He was gone or asleep almost all 14 days. We ended up talking and hanging out a few times. He was from Louisiana and would just fill me in on the culture, there.
The kitchen and the bathroom were probably the worst. The kitchen had pots and pans everywhere, dishes strewn all over the sink and counter tops.
The bathroom wasn't too bad until you stepped into the shower. Above the shower on the ceiling, nothing but black spots all over, which I learned was Black Mold. It actually ended up effecting me after a couple months which sucked. The bathroom was very small and had a plastic organizer about 3ft tall against the wall across from the toilet which took up lot of space.
Now, I could continue this way in great detail, only to find out 4hrs later that I have only described 1/8th of my entire experience in this place. I won't due that, because I don't want to sit here and continue on in such a mundane fashion. I'll try to touch on the major stuff and try to filter out the small stuff. Though it would make for "some" interesting reading, it's just not needed for the overall effect.
I lived there 3 months and the following transpired. I found out the smell I kept smelling was actually weed. Marijuana, if you want to be politically correct. I've been around weed before, I just didn't recognize the smell. Had a buddy who smoked which doesn't bother me. I don't smoke because it effects me negatively, it's gross, and I hate inhaling things. Doesn't bother me of people who do smoke, however. Well, Austin is pretty huge for it's leniency on pot. A ton of people do smoke down here and if you DON'T smoke, you're the odd one out. Quite different than it was back home. Ok, cool, so they smoke, whatever. It doesn't bother me and they were smoking in their room, not near me, all good.
Fast forward a month and the guy in the other bedroom starts chit chatting with me while the couple is out and about. He asks me "Don't you think it's weird that he has a bunch of strangers over frequently throughout the week?" I start to think about it and he was right. The boyfriend would constantly have visitors that would walk to his room, they would push the door half closed and talk. After 10 minutes, the stranger would leave. Rinse, repeat with about 10 people over the course of a week. "He's selling weed" the roommate states. "Holy shit... I never made the connection!" I say, startled. We're both drinking and basically agree that we each need to find a different place to live in case the house was busted and they tag everyone with known possession.
That was one of the first dramatic secrets I found out. Next, I find out why they don't leave the house too often. The female walks everywhere and the boyfriend only drives to the gas station for beer and to the bank about once a week. He was ALWAYS home! Found out that he was unemployed and had been on unemployment for upwards of a year and a half. He was not actively looking for work and was half-assing his college classes that he was attending. Basically, it all comes up and he states that he and his girlfriend have extreme social anxiety issues and weed is the only thing that calms them. He was literally hitting a bong every hour. I can't imagine the consistent levels of THC he held, daily. Then, at night, he would throw down a six pack with me. Insane! I then asking about the driving situation and how I had observed him not leaving the house too often. Found out that the female had several parking violations that she tried fighting and lost. Turns out she had a warrant for her arrest for other fee's dealing with her automobile. He, had expired Iowa tags, no valid driver's license, and he, too, had a warrant for his arrest for driving issues due to speeding tickets. I was floored! These guys were a piece of work.
I got along with both of them, decently. I just didn't have the greatest respect for them. I almost always ate out instead of trying to cook in the kitchen. Oh, I also killed 3 cockroaches in the kitchen, as well. The response I was given was "Oh, yeah, they're everywhere down here." In the past year since I left that house I have not ONCE seen another cockroach in ANY of the places I have lived.... interesting...
Most notable frustrations: The internet was turned off 4 times in those 3 months up to a few days at a time. The water was turned off due to non-payment, once. I ended up having to shower at work during those days. The couple fought all the time. Shouting matches in their room and in the kitchen, quite often. Made common actions like going to the bathroom, very awkward. We had 5 people sharing 1 bathroom which was annoying.
The lease ended in April of that year but I wanted to get the hell out of that house. I found a place, again on Craigslist, that was a few miles south of Austin. I made arrangements and moved out March 1st. Beyond all of the nuances that occurred, the folks were nice, just not my type of people. Very hipster-y with a lot of things not in common with each other. I was glad to get out of there. It was definitely an experience.
I'm sure I'm leaving something out, but I can't remember. We never had any issues with police, thank goodness. I ended up driving the female to work 4 days out of the week because she didn't want to walk. She said she would compensate me for gas. After 3 weeks I approached them and she acted all offended when I stated she said she would pay me SOMETHING for my time and gas to run her to work and pick her up consistently due to her legal issues. I think that's about it.
I was thankful I found that house, to be honest. Yeah it sucked, yeah it was terrible and cluttered and gross. It pissed off my brain's need for organized cleanliness. But, the fact that they were only charging me $275/month saved my butt. I received my first paycheck from Progressive the DAY I ran out of all of my money I brought with me. I withdrew the last $1.45 from my checking account to grab a Pepsi on the way to work and was paid the following morning. It was truly a blessing for it to work out like that. If I had gotten that call back from those guys with the first house, I would have run out of money and would probably not be here still, I fear.
I feel that it was a necessary sacrifice to live here in Austin. I feel as if I was charged an entrance fee to become a resident.
"If you can last in this terrible habitat, you can stay"
Well, you can suck it. I found a job. I withstood the horrors of sucky living conditions. And I have been happy ever since! Save for my job, of course.
Hope you guys enjoyed my very first 3 months in Austin! It was a crazy experience but I made it through! Hopefully I can dive into the house I moved into after this one, next week!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Blowing off the Dust
It's been a long time...
I must sincerely apologize for my lack of presence on my blog. I could throw out excuses as to "I am just too busy" or "I haven't had anything to write about". Basically, I lost motivation. I have an inability to keep focused on one subject or thing for any more than a small frame of time. I told myself I would constantly update and write to this blog. If you read the only 3 post I have, I haven't updated in a year and a half, it looks as though my plan to relocate failed miserably. I'm sorry for that! I thought I would get in the habit of writing and it just didn't happen!
I could also attribute my lack of update to comfort zone. I don't have my desk or chair. Every place I've lived I have been sitting on the floor with my keyboard in my lap, making it more of a challenge to write longer pieces. I get the idea "Hey! I need to update my blog! Then I sit down, bring it up and stare at it... "Where do I start? What do I start with? I have so much to say and I have no idea how to say it. This is going to take some time. This is going to take a lot of typing and forming of memories to be put to text. This will probably hurt my wrists trying to type for so long... screw it. I'll update it on my NEXT day off!" And so the cycle continued... for a year until it finally became a lost, faded idea, sitting upon the back burner that holds so many other ambitions I have set aside for more tangible, and instantly gratifying entertainment.
These are but excuses and does not make up for the fact that I promised I would keep up on. I hope you forgive me. I can't guarantee that after this update that updates will continue. It seems that every once in a while, I get this overwhelming urge to write and create. This blog started during one of those episodes, if you will. It's been a while since I've been struck by that all encompassing passion and motivation.
Where to start? I could start with my trip to Austin, TX and recount my adventure driving the 1,250 miles down. I could skip forward and describe my living conditions and the almost comical characters that I lived with in the first house. I could touch on the amazing 5 bedroom, 4,000sq ft house I lived in for a short time and the drama that arose, there. Stuff that has developed with my father that past year. How I was taken aback by a confident female and the crazy events surrounding our rocky, early relationship. Which has now blossomed into an amazing coupling that I could not have seen coming. My job and the annoyances that are tethered with it. And finally, my present environment in my own apartment.
Oh, how I would love to just write and write, trying to have the reader grasp the exact emotion and sensation I was feeling at the exact moment of the event taking place at that time. However, that would be pretty wordy and boring for most people. Instead, I'll try to be concise and maybe draw you in with only the most powerful emotion during any event.
The drive down to Austin was over the course of 2 days. I planned on pulling 12hrs the first day and 5hrs the second. Lets just say, it didn't go strictly like that. I had said my goodbyes the night before and I had to just load my car with the essentials that I would need when for moving. What accounted as "essential" for me was what would fit in my newly owned 2006 Toyota Corolla. Not a small car, but by no means an SUV with tons of room. Therefore, I was quite limited in which luxury items I could bring with me. To this day I regret not finding a spot for my Pizzazz™ Pizza Oven. This baby was pretty much my go to for cooking frozen pizza. I received this appliance as a gift from my father for my 20th birthday. A $40 purchase by him that has lasted me to this day, 7yrs later. How about that for an investment? Problem is, I couldn't fit it in the car and had to leave it at my friend Craig's house. But, I'm happy to report he still uses it quite regularly.
Ok, sorry, weird appliance tangent... Anyway, I had planned on getting up at 9am, packing my car and starting the trip by 10am. Solid 12hr drive to find a motel by 10 - 11pm. to crash for the night. Well, I have this thing where I enjoy sleep. Skipping over my non-tetris like ability to pack my car in the most efficient way possible, I didn't make it out by 10am. I officially hit the road at 11:30am And hadn't really "started" on my journey until around Noon. I can make that time up, right? HA! Just you wait....
I had bought a GPS the previous day to help me along the trip. I programmed my new address and let Susie direct me. I gotta say, she was amazing and never lead me off course or into a field. I was very pleased. Of course my trip couldn't have just been boring and uneventful. Ok, I'll give you a recap and then I'll give you a realization I had later. The route I was directed to take was to drive south through Indiana, around Indianapolis, then southwest toward Illinois. I would basically cut through the bottom half of Illinois to get to a major interstate that straddled the boarder of a few states. I drove along the state lines of Missouri/Kentucky proceeding south down the Missouri/Tennessee line which turned into the Arkansas/Tennessee line. I cut west around Memphis and shot through the middle portion of Arkansas. I ended up stopping at a motel just southwest of Little Rock.
Ok, so that's the path I'm to take which is fine. I hit the bottom half of Illinois and finally started heading south again when I encountered rain. Never thought to check for weather conditions prior to leaving. Why do that when it was clearly sunny in Indiana? Yeah.. I'm dumb. I hit the rain in southern Illinois around 6:30pm. It's November 30th and it gets dark around this time. I'm driving roadways and highways I have never been on, in the dark, in the rain. With only a Monster to keep me up and my GPS to guide me, I push through the weather and just stay calm trying to find my way and not encounter any problems. The rain, wind, lightening, thunder gets to the point to where I can barely see the Semi-Truck brake lights, ahead of me. Apparently I crossed over the Mississippi River at one point, all I remember is a large bridge and zero visibility via rain. To the point: I drove 6hrs in the dark during a heavy rain storm which impeded my vision 90% of the time. Can't say that I felt safe. I was frustrated and annoyed at the horrible conditions. Oh, and it was my first time driving a Manual Transmission more than 5 miles! At 11:30pm I decide it's time to end this journey for the night and find a place to crash. I find a Super 8 right outside of Little Rock. Pretty much looks like a place you would go to get stabbed. Parking light poles were out in a few places. Rain still steadily falling. I get a room and they charge me $60! Holy crap! I thought it would be like $30 or $40. NOPE. Sheesh, and then she gives me the key to the building waaaaaaaaaay in the back. Thanks lady, I planned on getting mugged on my way down. Drive 800 miles in treacherous weather conditions? Check. Get jumped in a motel parking lot? Check. Sweet. Well, needless to say, I wasn't mugged. Actually, I think I was the only person at that entire motel.
Now comes the realization. I unpack my toiletry products and am chilling in the motel when I turn on the TV. It's already set to the weather channel. The weather man is recapping this evenings weather festivities. "10 tornado's were spotted around the Missouri/Tennessee line this evening causing extensive damage and dumping almost ??inches of rain ......" WHAT? TEN TORNADO'S.... OH. MY. GOSH. I braved 10 tornado's for this journey!!?? How did I miss those tornado's???? Austin better be freaking amazing for this. I could not believe it. All that rain and wind that was pissing me off had been TORNADO-LIKE WEATHER! I sat on the rough motel bed just thinking "holy shit, I am so lucky. I can't believe that.." I ended up sleeping quite well that night from the exhaustion of driving.
I awoke the next day and started back on my route at 10am. I paid the motel, scoffed at my bill and went to find breakfast. The 2nd day was a breeze. Literally, no hiccups or issues. I drove 7hrs the second day. It did feel quite long when I finally entered Texas. Was all flat and boring. Nothing to see, really. Lot's of ranch style housing and brown grass, burnt to a crisp from the unrelenting sun. Leaving Indiana Nov 30th at 40º and entering Texas on Dec 1st at 79º was quite a shock. Unfortunately, my timing was quite problematic as I reached Austin at 5:15pm on a Monday. I had never seen a rush hour like I witnessed that day. Austin is quite hilly as well, which I was unaware of. I had done fine, cruising at highway speeds in my Manual car, but hills? I had not done hills before. Lets just say, everyone around me knew I was quite new to driving this car, haha. I finally made it to my destination at 5:45pm. and parked in front of what I would find out to be one of the craziest residence I had ever lived in.
That's quite a lot to read, I hope it's not too boring. I'm kind of just winging this at the moment. If I get to it, or think of it, or if my girl pushes me for it, I'll start in on that first house. I'll recount the events that transpired which were quite... adventurous, let's say ^.^
Hope you enjoyed the read through. I'm sure I'll sit down and just write out a story sometime, just need the motivation to do so!
I must sincerely apologize for my lack of presence on my blog. I could throw out excuses as to "I am just too busy" or "I haven't had anything to write about". Basically, I lost motivation. I have an inability to keep focused on one subject or thing for any more than a small frame of time. I told myself I would constantly update and write to this blog. If you read the only 3 post I have, I haven't updated in a year and a half, it looks as though my plan to relocate failed miserably. I'm sorry for that! I thought I would get in the habit of writing and it just didn't happen!
I could also attribute my lack of update to comfort zone. I don't have my desk or chair. Every place I've lived I have been sitting on the floor with my keyboard in my lap, making it more of a challenge to write longer pieces. I get the idea "Hey! I need to update my blog! Then I sit down, bring it up and stare at it... "Where do I start? What do I start with? I have so much to say and I have no idea how to say it. This is going to take some time. This is going to take a lot of typing and forming of memories to be put to text. This will probably hurt my wrists trying to type for so long... screw it. I'll update it on my NEXT day off!" And so the cycle continued... for a year until it finally became a lost, faded idea, sitting upon the back burner that holds so many other ambitions I have set aside for more tangible, and instantly gratifying entertainment.
These are but excuses and does not make up for the fact that I promised I would keep up on. I hope you forgive me. I can't guarantee that after this update that updates will continue. It seems that every once in a while, I get this overwhelming urge to write and create. This blog started during one of those episodes, if you will. It's been a while since I've been struck by that all encompassing passion and motivation.
Where to start? I could start with my trip to Austin, TX and recount my adventure driving the 1,250 miles down. I could skip forward and describe my living conditions and the almost comical characters that I lived with in the first house. I could touch on the amazing 5 bedroom, 4,000sq ft house I lived in for a short time and the drama that arose, there. Stuff that has developed with my father that past year. How I was taken aback by a confident female and the crazy events surrounding our rocky, early relationship. Which has now blossomed into an amazing coupling that I could not have seen coming. My job and the annoyances that are tethered with it. And finally, my present environment in my own apartment.
Oh, how I would love to just write and write, trying to have the reader grasp the exact emotion and sensation I was feeling at the exact moment of the event taking place at that time. However, that would be pretty wordy and boring for most people. Instead, I'll try to be concise and maybe draw you in with only the most powerful emotion during any event.
The drive down to Austin was over the course of 2 days. I planned on pulling 12hrs the first day and 5hrs the second. Lets just say, it didn't go strictly like that. I had said my goodbyes the night before and I had to just load my car with the essentials that I would need when for moving. What accounted as "essential" for me was what would fit in my newly owned 2006 Toyota Corolla. Not a small car, but by no means an SUV with tons of room. Therefore, I was quite limited in which luxury items I could bring with me. To this day I regret not finding a spot for my Pizzazz™ Pizza Oven. This baby was pretty much my go to for cooking frozen pizza. I received this appliance as a gift from my father for my 20th birthday. A $40 purchase by him that has lasted me to this day, 7yrs later. How about that for an investment? Problem is, I couldn't fit it in the car and had to leave it at my friend Craig's house. But, I'm happy to report he still uses it quite regularly.
Ok, sorry, weird appliance tangent... Anyway, I had planned on getting up at 9am, packing my car and starting the trip by 10am. Solid 12hr drive to find a motel by 10 - 11pm. to crash for the night. Well, I have this thing where I enjoy sleep. Skipping over my non-tetris like ability to pack my car in the most efficient way possible, I didn't make it out by 10am. I officially hit the road at 11:30am And hadn't really "started" on my journey until around Noon. I can make that time up, right? HA! Just you wait....
I had bought a GPS the previous day to help me along the trip. I programmed my new address and let Susie direct me. I gotta say, she was amazing and never lead me off course or into a field. I was very pleased. Of course my trip couldn't have just been boring and uneventful. Ok, I'll give you a recap and then I'll give you a realization I had later. The route I was directed to take was to drive south through Indiana, around Indianapolis, then southwest toward Illinois. I would basically cut through the bottom half of Illinois to get to a major interstate that straddled the boarder of a few states. I drove along the state lines of Missouri/Kentucky proceeding south down the Missouri/Tennessee line which turned into the Arkansas/Tennessee line. I cut west around Memphis and shot through the middle portion of Arkansas. I ended up stopping at a motel just southwest of Little Rock.
Ok, so that's the path I'm to take which is fine. I hit the bottom half of Illinois and finally started heading south again when I encountered rain. Never thought to check for weather conditions prior to leaving. Why do that when it was clearly sunny in Indiana? Yeah.. I'm dumb. I hit the rain in southern Illinois around 6:30pm. It's November 30th and it gets dark around this time. I'm driving roadways and highways I have never been on, in the dark, in the rain. With only a Monster to keep me up and my GPS to guide me, I push through the weather and just stay calm trying to find my way and not encounter any problems. The rain, wind, lightening, thunder gets to the point to where I can barely see the Semi-Truck brake lights, ahead of me. Apparently I crossed over the Mississippi River at one point, all I remember is a large bridge and zero visibility via rain. To the point: I drove 6hrs in the dark during a heavy rain storm which impeded my vision 90% of the time. Can't say that I felt safe. I was frustrated and annoyed at the horrible conditions. Oh, and it was my first time driving a Manual Transmission more than 5 miles! At 11:30pm I decide it's time to end this journey for the night and find a place to crash. I find a Super 8 right outside of Little Rock. Pretty much looks like a place you would go to get stabbed. Parking light poles were out in a few places. Rain still steadily falling. I get a room and they charge me $60! Holy crap! I thought it would be like $30 or $40. NOPE. Sheesh, and then she gives me the key to the building waaaaaaaaaay in the back. Thanks lady, I planned on getting mugged on my way down. Drive 800 miles in treacherous weather conditions? Check. Get jumped in a motel parking lot? Check. Sweet. Well, needless to say, I wasn't mugged. Actually, I think I was the only person at that entire motel.
Now comes the realization. I unpack my toiletry products and am chilling in the motel when I turn on the TV. It's already set to the weather channel. The weather man is recapping this evenings weather festivities. "10 tornado's were spotted around the Missouri/Tennessee line this evening causing extensive damage and dumping almost ??inches of rain ......" WHAT? TEN TORNADO'S.... OH. MY. GOSH. I braved 10 tornado's for this journey!!?? How did I miss those tornado's???? Austin better be freaking amazing for this. I could not believe it. All that rain and wind that was pissing me off had been TORNADO-LIKE WEATHER! I sat on the rough motel bed just thinking "holy shit, I am so lucky. I can't believe that.." I ended up sleeping quite well that night from the exhaustion of driving.
I awoke the next day and started back on my route at 10am. I paid the motel, scoffed at my bill and went to find breakfast. The 2nd day was a breeze. Literally, no hiccups or issues. I drove 7hrs the second day. It did feel quite long when I finally entered Texas. Was all flat and boring. Nothing to see, really. Lot's of ranch style housing and brown grass, burnt to a crisp from the unrelenting sun. Leaving Indiana Nov 30th at 40º and entering Texas on Dec 1st at 79º was quite a shock. Unfortunately, my timing was quite problematic as I reached Austin at 5:15pm on a Monday. I had never seen a rush hour like I witnessed that day. Austin is quite hilly as well, which I was unaware of. I had done fine, cruising at highway speeds in my Manual car, but hills? I had not done hills before. Lets just say, everyone around me knew I was quite new to driving this car, haha. I finally made it to my destination at 5:45pm. and parked in front of what I would find out to be one of the craziest residence I had ever lived in.
That's quite a lot to read, I hope it's not too boring. I'm kind of just winging this at the moment. If I get to it, or think of it, or if my girl pushes me for it, I'll start in on that first house. I'll recount the events that transpired which were quite... adventurous, let's say ^.^
Hope you enjoyed the read through. I'm sure I'll sit down and just write out a story sometime, just need the motivation to do so!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Trim away the Fear
I figured I'd make the title festive in lieu of the Holiday...
Here I sit... My goals in front of my face.. I have already accomplished 2 out of three phases of my plan... and yet I still feel sorrow.. Why...?
I purchased a car! A feat I NEVER thought I would accomplish! My credit is terrible and I had no co-signer! And yet I pulled it off.... I just found a place to park that new car! I received a call from some guys about a house they have for rent and they picked ME! We set up a meeting. Bottom Line, I have a place to LIVE now! I'm just missing the Job... Not a big deal, really..
I have 3 more shifts to work at Parkview. Everything seems to be falling into place at the last second, just as I had predicted... why is that?
And yet I still am not as overjoyed as I should be.
I am starting over.. making a change.. taking a chance. I'm risking everything to make something of myself and the pieces of the puzzle are connecting much quicker and more fluidly than I ever thought possible.. and yet.. I am still not in euphoria...
I finally know why. I am going to miss everyone I care about.. The friends that have taken years upon years to make, the family that has always been with me through my pitfalls and tribulations, the best friends that have always watched out for me...
It's incredibly easy for me to make friends. I can make friends anywhere and everywhere. It's extremely difficult for me to make "best friends". I'm not going to sit here and say it was an easy decision to move away from everyone I care about, but sometimes you need to make a life for yourself. I made this choice and I shall live with it. That does not mean that I will do it cold heartedly. As my time grows short, I realize the sacrifice I am making.
I just pray that those I am leaving understand my motives, understand my need to get out. Understand that I need to better myself and are proud of me for making this leap of faith.
As I sit here weeping for the ties I am severing, I am reminded of the bond I have shared with everyone. Please do not think you are replaceable because you are not.
I am optimistic for the future relationships I will encounter, but Home will always be Home to me...
I have a car... I have a place to live... and yet I am saddened... it's easy to pretend that I can just up and leave.. it's another thing entirely to try to think that way.
I don't mean to be such a Debbie-Downer but thats what this Blog is all about. Raw feelings expressed with no regard to censorship.
In the end, I'm sorry for those I am hurting for leaving...trust me when I say that I love you all and I need to do this.
You can Never be replaced.
Here I sit... My goals in front of my face.. I have already accomplished 2 out of three phases of my plan... and yet I still feel sorrow.. Why...?
I purchased a car! A feat I NEVER thought I would accomplish! My credit is terrible and I had no co-signer! And yet I pulled it off.... I just found a place to park that new car! I received a call from some guys about a house they have for rent and they picked ME! We set up a meeting. Bottom Line, I have a place to LIVE now! I'm just missing the Job... Not a big deal, really..
I have 3 more shifts to work at Parkview. Everything seems to be falling into place at the last second, just as I had predicted... why is that?
And yet I still am not as overjoyed as I should be.
I am starting over.. making a change.. taking a chance. I'm risking everything to make something of myself and the pieces of the puzzle are connecting much quicker and more fluidly than I ever thought possible.. and yet.. I am still not in euphoria...
I finally know why. I am going to miss everyone I care about.. The friends that have taken years upon years to make, the family that has always been with me through my pitfalls and tribulations, the best friends that have always watched out for me...
It's incredibly easy for me to make friends. I can make friends anywhere and everywhere. It's extremely difficult for me to make "best friends". I'm not going to sit here and say it was an easy decision to move away from everyone I care about, but sometimes you need to make a life for yourself. I made this choice and I shall live with it. That does not mean that I will do it cold heartedly. As my time grows short, I realize the sacrifice I am making.
I just pray that those I am leaving understand my motives, understand my need to get out. Understand that I need to better myself and are proud of me for making this leap of faith.
As I sit here weeping for the ties I am severing, I am reminded of the bond I have shared with everyone. Please do not think you are replaceable because you are not.
I am optimistic for the future relationships I will encounter, but Home will always be Home to me...
I have a car... I have a place to live... and yet I am saddened... it's easy to pretend that I can just up and leave.. it's another thing entirely to try to think that way.
I don't mean to be such a Debbie-Downer but thats what this Blog is all about. Raw feelings expressed with no regard to censorship.
In the end, I'm sorry for those I am hurting for leaving...trust me when I say that I love you all and I need to do this.
You can Never be replaced.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
It's scarier when you can see it
Each day it seems that I keep asking myself "How are you not nervous?"
It never fails. Every time someone approaches me and questions the validity of rumors about my plans to relocate, I swell with excited energy as a wave of optimism and euphoria wash over me. I can't stop myself from describing every detail from the obvious daunting challenges, to the whimsical "wing it" attitude. As I lay out my plans or lack there of, I have my audience captivated and pulled in. As I close out my strategy, I am applauded with pride, well wishes, and slight sting of nostalgic regret. I cannot count the numerous times I've heard the phrase "Do it while you're young! ...I should have done it.."
It's phrases like that that empower me to push forward. The truth is, even though I have all of these optimistic, energetic, and hopeful feelings, doubt still lingers. But this is what it is to be human. I'm not a robot who is unable to experience fear. However, I believe that I am far more unafraid than I should be. Bottom line, I have no job, no housing, and no car. Any normal person would be stricken with fear. Why aren't I? Which brings us back, full circle.
All my life my father would always say "Do you have a plan?". Till no end he believes that having a plan and following through with said plan was the ultimate insurance policy. If you have it all planned out there is no room for guesswork or error, right? When it comes to planning, my father and my brother are polar opposites. My father is Captain Plans-o-lot where is my brother is Wing-it-extraordinaire. Ironically, both have been successful. I however, fall somewhere in between. I enjoy making a plan when possible but if not, then sometimes winging it can be thrilling. It's an adventure not knowing what will happen. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being in control of my environment and surroundings, but sometimes it's fun to let go and see what happens.
Here I am, making the biggest decision of my life and of all things, I'm winging it. Lets just say my dad isn't too happy about HOW I'm going about it. He loves the idea of me making something for myself but thinks I'm not being smart about it. Sometimes you just gotta let go and see what happens. It takes courage to let loose and do something life changing. I think it takes balls to do this, and not know how you're going to pull it off, though. haha.
I can see the day I leave. I can picture it. I can mentally run through the days in my head until I see the day I'm gone. This is what makes me nervous. Before, it was far away in the distance. A date set into the future that would one day be obtainable. All the time in the world. It was a jolting realization the other day when I thought it through and could literally map the calendar mentally. Holy crap... I only have 2 weeks left... and I have nothing to show for anything I've planned for so far...
So much nervous energy flowing through me all the time now. The what if's continually playing through my mind, a new topic every second. I feel as though I'm trying to thread a needle from 10 yards away using a slingshot. I have very little time allotted and such a massive to do list, it's mind boggling. But, for some damn reason I have this blanket of optimism that keeps sweeping over me and reminding me that I shall be alright. It's comforting and suspicious at the same time, a difficult feeling to properly convey accurately.
As usual, ranting is my strong suit. For this, I do not apologize, however. I will continue to work my ass off and get these goals accomplished. It's my belief that everything is going to come down to the last couple days and I will have to crank out one helluva miracle!
But, in the meantime, I will continue to brag and boast about my courageous ambitions. I will accept and become enveloped in the constant praise as it reinforces my decision.
And somewhere underneath it all, the fear lingers...I refuse to let it take hold. The only thing that can stop you, is you.
It never fails. Every time someone approaches me and questions the validity of rumors about my plans to relocate, I swell with excited energy as a wave of optimism and euphoria wash over me. I can't stop myself from describing every detail from the obvious daunting challenges, to the whimsical "wing it" attitude. As I lay out my plans or lack there of, I have my audience captivated and pulled in. As I close out my strategy, I am applauded with pride, well wishes, and slight sting of nostalgic regret. I cannot count the numerous times I've heard the phrase "Do it while you're young! ...I should have done it.."
It's phrases like that that empower me to push forward. The truth is, even though I have all of these optimistic, energetic, and hopeful feelings, doubt still lingers. But this is what it is to be human. I'm not a robot who is unable to experience fear. However, I believe that I am far more unafraid than I should be. Bottom line, I have no job, no housing, and no car. Any normal person would be stricken with fear. Why aren't I? Which brings us back, full circle.
All my life my father would always say "Do you have a plan?". Till no end he believes that having a plan and following through with said plan was the ultimate insurance policy. If you have it all planned out there is no room for guesswork or error, right? When it comes to planning, my father and my brother are polar opposites. My father is Captain Plans-o-lot where is my brother is Wing-it-extraordinaire. Ironically, both have been successful. I however, fall somewhere in between. I enjoy making a plan when possible but if not, then sometimes winging it can be thrilling. It's an adventure not knowing what will happen. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being in control of my environment and surroundings, but sometimes it's fun to let go and see what happens.
Here I am, making the biggest decision of my life and of all things, I'm winging it. Lets just say my dad isn't too happy about HOW I'm going about it. He loves the idea of me making something for myself but thinks I'm not being smart about it. Sometimes you just gotta let go and see what happens. It takes courage to let loose and do something life changing. I think it takes balls to do this, and not know how you're going to pull it off, though. haha.
I can see the day I leave. I can picture it. I can mentally run through the days in my head until I see the day I'm gone. This is what makes me nervous. Before, it was far away in the distance. A date set into the future that would one day be obtainable. All the time in the world. It was a jolting realization the other day when I thought it through and could literally map the calendar mentally. Holy crap... I only have 2 weeks left... and I have nothing to show for anything I've planned for so far...
So much nervous energy flowing through me all the time now. The what if's continually playing through my mind, a new topic every second. I feel as though I'm trying to thread a needle from 10 yards away using a slingshot. I have very little time allotted and such a massive to do list, it's mind boggling. But, for some damn reason I have this blanket of optimism that keeps sweeping over me and reminding me that I shall be alright. It's comforting and suspicious at the same time, a difficult feeling to properly convey accurately.
As usual, ranting is my strong suit. For this, I do not apologize, however. I will continue to work my ass off and get these goals accomplished. It's my belief that everything is going to come down to the last couple days and I will have to crank out one helluva miracle!
But, in the meantime, I will continue to brag and boast about my courageous ambitions. I will accept and become enveloped in the constant praise as it reinforces my decision.
And somewhere underneath it all, the fear lingers...I refuse to let it take hold. The only thing that can stop you, is you.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Devastating the obvious
It's been almost 3 years since my last written blog. I'd say it's about time to come back to my roots and get my words on the net for all to read! The last blog I mentioned was published on Myspace if that tells you anything, lol.
Where do I start? Do I explain who I am? Chances are that if you are reading this then you already know who I am. Should I jump in with everything little minute detail about my life? That might be too overwhelming. I could make several blog posts in a row breaking up events into chapter like sections.
Decisions...decisions... With technology the way it is nowadays everyone pretty much posts their feelings and daily activities via Facebook with little left to blog about. For me, blogging is about expressing myself above and beyond what I CAN and am WILLING to post on Facebook. It also draws me back to my high school days sitting in Study Hall writing stories. I had always dreamed of being a writer. I used to write short stories about epic battles taking place in far away places. It was an adventure for me. I read all the time and my creativity spawned this love for writing. The thing I love most was the fact that if you didn't like something, you could always come up with a way to change the situation around you i.e. the character. He's down on his luck and suddenly wins the lottery! Thats odd... he didn't even buy a ticket.. but thats okay.. it's a story.. and it's accepted.
Essentially, thats what blogging is for me. It's a way to be a little nostalgic and express my story telling abilities. I also use it for serious emotional escape as well. I tagged my blog as "Adult Content" just in case I would happen to fly off the handle and let the obscenities type their way into a blog or two.
Currently my life is in an upheaval. There is so much change going on that I could literally spend hours and pages explaining it all. So, I will try the short short version:
I've decided to dig up my roots and take flight on a new adventure. I'm taking a risk and leaving routine behind. It's time to make something for myself. Time to stop sitting stagnant and rotting. Why stay somewhere that slowly bleeds the life from you? That robs you from your dreams? Well at 25 years of age I've finally said "I have had enough!" Yeah it's a huge risk.. yeah I may fail.. but what if I succeed? Then it will all be worth it.
You never know unless you try...
Where do I start? Do I explain who I am? Chances are that if you are reading this then you already know who I am. Should I jump in with everything little minute detail about my life? That might be too overwhelming. I could make several blog posts in a row breaking up events into chapter like sections.
Decisions...decisions... With technology the way it is nowadays everyone pretty much posts their feelings and daily activities via Facebook with little left to blog about. For me, blogging is about expressing myself above and beyond what I CAN and am WILLING to post on Facebook. It also draws me back to my high school days sitting in Study Hall writing stories. I had always dreamed of being a writer. I used to write short stories about epic battles taking place in far away places. It was an adventure for me. I read all the time and my creativity spawned this love for writing. The thing I love most was the fact that if you didn't like something, you could always come up with a way to change the situation around you i.e. the character. He's down on his luck and suddenly wins the lottery! Thats odd... he didn't even buy a ticket.. but thats okay.. it's a story.. and it's accepted.
Essentially, thats what blogging is for me. It's a way to be a little nostalgic and express my story telling abilities. I also use it for serious emotional escape as well. I tagged my blog as "Adult Content" just in case I would happen to fly off the handle and let the obscenities type their way into a blog or two.
Currently my life is in an upheaval. There is so much change going on that I could literally spend hours and pages explaining it all. So, I will try the short short version:
I've decided to dig up my roots and take flight on a new adventure. I'm taking a risk and leaving routine behind. It's time to make something for myself. Time to stop sitting stagnant and rotting. Why stay somewhere that slowly bleeds the life from you? That robs you from your dreams? Well at 25 years of age I've finally said "I have had enough!" Yeah it's a huge risk.. yeah I may fail.. but what if I succeed? Then it will all be worth it.
You never know unless you try...
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